So my last blog post was rather upbeat, I was feeling good and getting back into the swing of my pet portraits. Sadly it took a bit of a down turn, well quite a big one today. Unfortunately my depression seems to have kicked in. I bring it up because I think it should be talked about more, along with anxiety of any other mental health illness. I know it has been very taboo in the past, people are talking about it more now, and that is great, but it is still often dismissed or you can get silly comments like 'Just smile you will feel better' or 'Oh I had depression last week' I wish it were that simple. Mine is a constant battle and I could have stretches of depression and or anxiety that lasted months or longer. I am much better at managing it now with medication and self care and other tips I have learnt with the 24 years of battling it.
I must admit this round has floored me. I suspect it may have something to do with my friends funeral on Friday triggering it. I have grieved and I will some more, I am desperately sad this lovely man has passed away, and I acknowledge these feelings, but it is strange how the black dog has come to sit on my chest this time. It hasn't always when I have been in a similar situation.
I think the fact I cannot get the dogs out due to this debilitating plantar fasciitis is really not helping, or getting out with my wonderful friends and nordic walking round the Kent countryside.These really help clear my head, uplift my mood with the endorphins and give me my well deserved break away from my easel
I know either way there maybe no quick fix. I will sleep a lot over the coming days. It is exhausting. I won; stop working. But I haven't worked much on my current pet portrait today, rather prepped a couple more pet paintings and easier things. The depression does sap my enjoyment out of painting my pet portraits. I know it will come back. The key is not to force it. Dip in, dip out. Do other pressing bits of work. Lets face it there is always that!
I will be packing up the beautiful Betsy's pet painting to be posted and I have also sketched out another horse portrait to paint. The gorgeous George, so currently I have two horse portraits and a double doberman painting on the go!
Anyway after all that, tomorrow is a new day and I am off the Friends Fest and I will leave you with this pet portrait I painted earlier on in the year that will hopefully leave a smile on your face
The beautiful Filou!